Me and the Cullens
by lionluver1918
Summary: Just a totally random story I made up in an email one time. Hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

(bows to applause) thank you! thank you! i love you all! (starts to cry) not again! omg i'm so happy! (accidently falls off stage b/c i have so many tears in my eyes) noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (but is then caught by a really hot guy!) OMG EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Edward looks at me with a weird expression, then realizes--) "Hey you're not bella!" (i look up at him offended) oh, so just because i fall off the stage, you automatically think i'm bella? i'm offended!... but i still love you!!!! (Edward sets me carefully on the ground then goes to find bella) (then before i can say anything, Carlisle appears!) are you alright? i heard you scream and alice said you were gonna die by falling off the stage, but i see edward appeared just in time! (I stand up and when i fully realize who the other hot guy is, then i just stare at him unable to say anything) (carlisle waves hand in front of me) hello? are you ok? (i keep staring at him for 5 whole minutes, then i go--) OMG CARLISLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (carlisle slowly walks away from me) (then all the cullen dudes show up in front of me!) OH... MY... GOSH........ AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE EVEN HOTTER IN PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (then i calm down and start to breath normally cuz i was beginning to hyperventalate) thanks Jazz. (Jasper smiles at me and i nearly faint) (then i feel really cold water on me) sorry! i just had a vision you were gonna faint so i had to wake you up before you did. (omg! it's alice!!) (i stare open mouthed at them and then rosalie, esme, and bella appeared) whoa! i'm dreaming aren't i? i fell off the stage, hit my head really hard and now i'm dreaming while i'm sleeping in a hospital bed... (edward puts his finger on my lips to get me to shut up and i stop breathing, then he moves his finger quickly realizing i might faint again) (i feel cold water again) Alice! (i look at the adorable pixie holding a water bucket) sorry! another vision. (i roll my eyes at her then i start to drool cuz my eyes landed on emmett) ummm.... (emmett is so cute when he's confused and uncomfortable) (edward raised his eyebrow at my thoughts then his eyes got all wide cuz i started thinking of him and how hot he looked with his bronze hair, his topaz eyes, perfect kissable lips, his smooth and satiny skin, his gorgeous velvety voice, his perfect white teeth, his chiseled jaw... then my eyes started moving further down his body... cold water on me again) alice! (alice shook her head and her eyes darted to edward and points to him... then i see edward glaring at me) _what? how is it my fault you're so unbelievably hot? _(then i say outloud--) sorry... but i still love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (then i appear in a hospital bed... how the heck did that happen????) ouch! (i have a really bad headache and my clothes are still soaked from having cold water dumped on me over and over... just then carlisle appears in the door and he comes in to check on me) sorry about that. (he smiled at me appolagetically) (i'm so confused) i'm confused... (then carlisle starts to tell me what happened) well, after your little outburst, edward took the water bucket and threw it at your head hoping to give you amnesia... and he appeared to only knock you out leaving you with your full memory. (sweet! then carlisle comes toward me with a shot... eek! a shot?!?!) (my eyes get all wide and he holds my arm still and gave me a shot and i started drifting...) no. i don't wanna sleep... (my eyes get heavy and the last thing i remember seeing is carlisle looking at me... then i wae up in my own bed 3 days later... where did the time go?) (i look around my room and groan... it was just a dream... or was it?........)

the end! lol!


	2. Chapter 2

My friend asked: how did that come to you?

My response:

well edward just hit me on the head and it just came to me! lol jk. umm... idk i was bored and i decided to actually fall off the stage, then that reminded me of bella (hehe i had a bella moment), and i thought edward should be there to catch "bella", and i just sort of daydreamed the rest... ome! i loved the gazing at edward part! that was fun to envision! lol! and the rest just came to me. i'm so obsessed! that's why carlisle diagnosed me with a severe case of ocd (obsessive cullen disorder). (i started to glare at him then i got all calm again... Jazzy!!!!) you really need to stop getting all hyper everytime we enter a room (i shook my head at the adorable blond dude) i don't think so. (man he's hot! i start daydreaming about him then someone clears their throat) what? (that's when i saw him, bronze haired and topaz eyed and all his sparkling (if he were in the sun) godlike hotness) EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i start to scream at the top of my lungs then stop when i see he's holding a water bucket. then i go--) don't hit me again! (he grins kind of evil like at me... then i see a little pixie staring (or more like glaring) at me) what now? i didn't even do anything this time! (she taps her foot and still glares at me) don't you dare go anywhere near my Jazzy. (i'm confused) huh? (she taps the side of her head then steps closer to her awesomely hot southern husband) (jasper held her real close and she leaned her head on his shoulder and murmured something into his neck. he smiled at that. i start to get the feeling i should look away now, but they look so cute together! then i look at jasper and i stare into his eyes, or try to cuz he was looking all doe-eyed at alice. lucky adorable pixie! i unwillingly look away and i realize all the couples were gathered into some sort of embrace of their own. edward had set down the bucket (finally!) and he was rocking bella back and forth slowly in his arms. rosalie and emmett were on the virge of making out, so i looked away cuz i was afraid of seeing something i didn't really want to see. esme and carlisle were just staring into each others eyes... i started to whimper a little. it was so beautiful but also sad cuz i had no one! lucky vampires and human with their soul mates! i was so jealous of them... just then jasper came over to me tagging alice along (apparently there was some reason she was more clingy with him than usual, not that she would tell me though)(and as he came closer my heart rate went up... how embarassing with vampires and their super hearing powers... edward chuckled that that and i wanted to glare at him for that, but i couldn't take my eyes off jazzy for some reason. he put his free hand on my face and i noticed alice had that "if looks could kill" look in her eyes. then jazz leaned closer to me and breathed gently in my face and i nearly fainted again. i wanted to ask what the heck he was doing but all i could manage was--) uhhhhhh..... (that's all i could think too. alice started to growl under her breath as jasper let go of her and put both hands on either side of my face... i suddenly forgot about my love and obsession for edward and focused on jasper... wow he looks so... so... hot... and beautiful.. angelic, gorgeous... tempting... wait what?? what's he doing? i vaguely remembered alice's near threat to me to not go near her jazzy... but he started it! it's not my fault... is it? oh well... AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! his lips were coming closer and closer to mine and i could have sworn i heard something in the back of his throat... WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING??????... he kissed me and my mind went completely blank... his lips were so cold and kinda forcefull... my breath was speeding up and i started kissing him back with some kind of strange urgency... somehow my fingers ended up tangled in his honey-blonde hair and i was pulling myself towards him, as if i really could. hehe... suddenly he was gone and i was gasping for air and there was a hole in the window... hey! what happened?... edward and the others were laughing, bella looked a little confused, and alice... well... let's just say i'm REALLY glad she's not jane or she'd be burning me with her thoughts... she was suddenly standing over me and emmett, still laughing, had to pull her away from me and she pulled her lips away from her teeth... eep!!!!... my eyes were all wide and scared and then jasper appeared in the door and i was calm) jasper (--carlisle--) was that really nessecary? (oh right! he has magical vampire powers... OH!!!!) (edward smirked at me and i would've glared at him but i was too calm for that... cool...) what? it was kinda fun... (--jasper--) in a weird way. (alice was finally calmed down (yay!) and she skipped over to jazzy's side. rosalie looked kinda mad and was pouting a little. emmett simply pulled her onto his lap and held her) (esme started shaking her head at jasper, carlisle held his face in his hands, emmett and edward were still laughing, and i had finally started to breath normally (or as normal as i could make it with 7 hot vampires in the room)) (jasper looked all doe-eyed at alice and went--) i'm sorry alice. (she looked like she was at loss of words, but she half-glared, half-looked all doe-eyed at him and said--) it's all right. i'll deal with you later (she said a little lower). (jazz smirked at her) ooo, scary (she gave him the death-stare or glare or whatever sounds scarier) you should be (she looked like an evil little vampire right now... scary!) (it looked like she mouthed the word "shopping" and he froze. she started laughing all evil like... just then rose got impatient and she and emmy bear-- edward raised an eyebrow at me and i started to sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" in my head and he rolled his eyes and looked back at bella-- left at vampire speed, so fast it's like they disappeared! i looked at carlisle and he was coming toward me with a shot-- NOT AGAIN!!!!) NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (--i screamed) (he gave me the stupid shot and the room got all fuzzy and i woke up in my room again--- HEY!! NOT FAIR!!!!!!!) grrr....... (then i got an idea. i got up and went to open my window and jasper was standing there) hello, jennifer (--he said in a southern accent--) (i froze, too stunned to move or speak. he smiled a dazzling beautiful smile as he took in my emotions... my heart rate went up again) am i dreaming?(--i had to mouth this cuz like i said, i was too stunned to speak--) (he shook his head slowly, still smiling and went--) can i come in? (i love his accent... i think i love him more than edward now... darn! i nodded my head smiling like an idiot... darn emotion-controlling vampire! he stepped in my room and walked towards me, slowly. i would've backed away from him by now, but i was still frozen in place) what are you doing? (ha! i finally found my voice! he said nothing, but just smiled even wider, walking closer and closer and when he got to me he held me and put his left hand on my waist pulling me closer, his right hand caressing my face then sliding down to my throat... my eyes got all wide again and my heart rate increased... his head leaned to the side, and his lips were going towards the right of my throat...)

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is fun! hey that rhymed! i'm a poet and didn't know it! haha!!!! i love this! i should copy and paste this and post it on fanfic!!!! haha!!!!!!!!!!!!

sooo... what do you think???? questions, comments, concerns (you better not have concerns!)?


	3. Chapter 3

my friend: EEEEE!! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? I LOVE LOVE LOVE...(etc.) LOVE IT. THEM. BOTH!

(lol!)

me:

thank you! thank you! i love the little people in the back row! hehe.

(and you think you're freaking out? i'm the one with the emotion-controlling vampire in my room going towards my throat... wow he smells good... and he looks so hot... i mean cold... i mean........... oh you know what i mean! a tiny part of my mind (the part that wasn't freaked out and scared to death, literally!) started thinking of alice... shoot! oh well what she doesn't know can't hurt her right? WAIT A MINUTE WHAT AM I SAYING???? SHE SEES THE FUTURE!!!!!! SHE COULD TOTALLY SEE THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well by now i was physically shaking, despite jazz's awesome powers, and so he pulled away and looked at me) what is it? what's the matter? (i had to close my eyes and shake my head a few times before i could speak coherently) alice? (-- was all i could manage. he laughed (what a gorgeous melodic laugh) and caressed my cheek again.) don't worry about her. she can't see us. i came here with seth (that would explain the howling) and i had to bribe rose to go with her to Europe for an intense shopping trip. i got her a new car. (he laughed again... sigh...) edward knows, but he won't tell cuz he knows i'm having too much fun with this. plus he doesn't want to be a part of alice's revenge... (he shuddered... he looks so hot!) you look so hot. (did i just say that out loud?) (he smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me... eep!... holy crow i think i did say it out loud then... wait he's kissing me???? ok i surrender (like i have a choice! lol) so i kiss him back being careful of his teeth... somehow i ended up laying on top of him... guess he didn't want to squish me or something... and i kissed him more forcefully. where did that come from?) Jazz.... (-- i mumble kinda incoherently. somehow he understands mumblese and he pulled away looking amused) yes? (I FREAKING LOVE HIS ACCENT!!!! what was i doing? oh yeah!) why are you doing this again? (he shrugged) i got bored and this is kinda fun (he kissed my throat again and made a path from my neck to my cheek and back... ugh......... i nearly passed out on him but he flipped me over and held his weight carefully. great now i'm trapped! not like i have any objections or anything, but still... he kissed me on the lips and, again, i tried to stay away from his lips. suddenly seth howled outside and jasper and i froze (well i was stuck and unable to move for the most part anyway, but my eyes got all wide and scared again). before i could whisper a question to him, there was suddenly a dark figure in front of us. what the heck...?)

DUN DUN...... DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha cliffy!


End file.
